[wip] screen

Monday will, it hammers between
my ears, a battle thinking itself into
being, between years & the feeling of
travelling, consider the fight, consider
the jetlag & mysterious pains.

A will to wake up, each time secret,
each stargaze separate, plenty room
for us to mean nothing or everything;
the secret of each of our languages,
& broken alarms, & the battering of
our wills.

Fitful, troublesome words, weakly they
hold onto my arms, as will slips out,
let me think against,
and go.

was the roach in my dream
was the wall crawling, light touches,
heavy footsteps
was the shadow from the light,
light on,
door swinging, creaking in between
open and closed,
face turned into the couch,
object impermanence,
was the light the sun
was the morning today
is the night the moon beaming,
waking curled
was the satellite,
is the water a dream,
damp skin, plant food,
is today the night closing in?
dream off.

Forest fire
dry
enough to ignite,
it was dangerous to meet you,
saplings reborn,

I grew up with oak,
birch,

the deer problem,
the one-lane highway.

Full moon you saw death
it ate your dawns,

head racing upward,
the sky leans down to meet you.

Revelatory dove
landing on fire escape,
I’m in the airplane,
a graceful descent
for humans,
morning shows up empty,
coldfingers stuck underneath
windows,
lovefingers given away as charity,
silent as man breathing, as man heaving,
stench filling the room,
apologetic I wait, humidifier off,
man alone fridays,
silent as found treasure,
my disbelief driving,
discarding vestigial selves
winding up skinny roads,
containers like airplanes,
substitutes for sky,
dove quiet visit,
mourning.

love,
suzanne

2023